I know it’s not so easy; healing from trauma.
It’s intimidating and can feel impossible.
It involves so much more than just “getting over it”.
It involves talking about the experiences.
It involves going into the dark, scary places, and finding out just what is down there.
It means we can no longer excuse the ones who sinned against us, and we can no longer justify the bitterness we harbor, and the sin we commit against others in the name of “Well, this happened to me, so there’s nothing I can do about it”. That’s how “trauma gets passed off as culture”.
It means that light has to get in there to expose us, to expose the ones who hurt us that we fight to protect in our minds… And it means knowing that even when we heal, we still won’t ever be perfect this side of eternity. That’s scary.
None of this is simple or easy, but it is worth it.
It’s worth it to see our children grow up with less anger, less fear, and fewer things holding them back from all the potential that God has poured into them.
It’s worth it to see the future generations doing things better than we did, like facing and confessing sins head on, knowing they are still loved beyond measure, instead of hiding in fear of exposure.
It’s worth it to see those things begin to happen in our own lives as well.
The goal is ultimately not to live “our best lives now”. I think we all know deep down that it this is our best life, then that’s a pretty disappointing “best”. Between our fears and pains, unmet needs and desires that can’t seem to be satisfied, this world leaves us wanting for so much more.
But that doesn’t mean we should give up and succumb to nihilism. Nihilism is not an option for Christians, who have a Hope that gives us reason to continue. Jesus left us with instructions, and we want to be able to follow through on those the best that we can.
Our goal is to “make disciplines of all nations”, starting with our babies; it’s to teach our children about the goodness of our God, and the endless grace He has for His people.
As parents we’re only a shadow of the real thing, but in His providence, God has given us the capability to show our children, through words and our actions, Who He is, and how He has instructed us to live, and why. Not without work, and not without pain, but with a definitive hope that carries us through each trial.
What we want is for our words and our actions to show our children who He is, and how he has instructed us to live, and why.
But what happens when you lose hope? What happens in those moments when it simply feels too difficult to continue, too mountainous… Impossible? We rest in knowing the One who overcame it all.
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
This isn’t a call to simply “look at Jesus as our example of what it means to endure the pain and keep going”.
This is a call to look at Him and rest assured. He did it, so you can rest in that.
He has authored your faith, and He will perfect it.
We press through the pain with this promise in mind. Not to prove our worth as the “perfect parent”, or to earn a good standing with God, but because we love Him, and want to honor Him, and our heart’s desire is to show our children what it looks like to obey out of love, not out of fear.
And so because we want to have joy-filled homes that honor the Lord; because we want children who are raised knowing the type of God our God is, we heal, and we teach them.
Until next time,